It might help to explain that when a sub recognizes a need and then “chooses” not to voice it and put the D type’s wants (or anything else) first, it is in fact, topping from the bottom.
The sub’s intent may be one of loving service. But it is still robbing the D-type of the ability to act as they see fit to provide for those needs.
Clearly expressing a need (and wants) to the Dominant is a responsibility. One no submissive gets to shirk.
“Are you going to let me lead or what?” is the phrase He used on me – total gut punch.
The rest of the lecture wasn’t any prettier either. But it stuck.
When we (subby types) let our discomfort with voicing needs lead us to keep quiet, we are not letting our Dominant lead.
It really is that simple.
Who is leading?
Every time you choose to do the easy thing and not voice a need, you have jerked the leash right outta the Dominant’s grasp.
“Are you going to let me lead, or what?”